Understanding the Layers of Conflict
In a prior article we focused on the “Brand of You”; why it is important to proactively manage and understand how you are experienced by others. We also focused on the importance of “Raising Your Emotional Intelligence.” Enhancing these leadership skills, among many others, are critical to the topic that we will be focusing on in this issue, understanding the many layers of conflict. With an understanding of the complexity of conflict, we can more quickly get to the issue, challenge, or decision that needs to be addressed.
The longer you wait to resolve the issues or breakdowns you face, the more challenging it is to find a resolution. There are many potential layers to work through in order to have the relevant conversation; one that leads to a decision, a fully defined agreement, and a move forward. Yes, also one that builds deeper trust in the relationships.
So, what are the different layers of conflict that need to be navigated?
Layer One: “Individual Obstacles” – What are each of us bringing into the conversation? This includes our overall self-esteem, level of emotional intelligence, general intellect, past experiences (personally & professionally) and those core values that speak to the essence of who we are. This layer can be very heavy and filled with stories that add to the complexity of what we are trying to navigate in our conversations with others.
Layer Two: “Relationship Obstacles” – What past experiences have we had with the other participants in the conversation? This includes legacy events that we have not put behind us. Positional power dynamics that inhibit our ability to fully express ourselves. Communication styles that naturally conflict with each other and need to be managed against. Lastly, the current quality of our “brand” and how we’ve been experienced by others in past interactions.
Layer Three – “Environmental Obstacles” – What’s going on around us? This includes the physical environment; is it conducive to a productive and respectful conversation? What’s going on in the company’s culture and internal politics that may need to be understood and managed against? The general mood or level of energy in the company would also be considered a potential environmental obstacle.
Layer Four – “Informational Obstacles” – This is the layer that we are usually most observant of. It includes our different perspectives, opinions and/or observations of the facts. It would be great if this was the starting place for finding resolution, but we are usually challenged to get there when the other three layers are particularly deep.
If we can properly navigate through all of these layers, we can fully focus on the “issue at hand.” What decisions do we need to make together? What commitment are we looking for from each other? What do we need to do to move forward in a way that supports the participants shared success?
In the next issue, we will provide you with the tools to prepare for these crucial conversations.
