The Power of Raising Your Emotional Intelligence

In last quarter’s newsletter we focused on the “Brand of You”; why it is important to proactively manage and understand how you are experienced by others.  As mentioned in that article, designing, and enhancing your brand starts with raising your self-awareness.  In this article, I will continue the focus on self-awareness and its importance to raising your Emotional Intelligence.  In fact, it is the foundation for raising your “EQ.”

So, what is emotional intelligence and when did it become such an important focus for becoming a superior leader?  Although the term first appeared in 1964, it was not until the mid-1990s that it gained popularity in the bestselling book by Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence.  Goleman defined EI as “the array of skills and characteristics that drive leadership performance.” Most of the research reveals that EI can be learned and strengthened.

What is the difference between EQ and IQ.  IQ or “Intellectual Quotient”, measures our cognitive and intellectual skills; like working memory, analytical thinking, and knowledge retention.  EQ refers to our emotional abilities and social skills.  There are four key components that make up our EQ:

1)      Self-Awareness – your ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.

2)      Self-Regulation – your ability to control and redirect disruptive impulses and moods and the propensity to suspend judgment and think before acting.

3)      Social Awareness – your ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people.

4)      Social Regulation – your proficiency in managing relationships and building networks.

Here are some basic ways to start raising your EQ:

o   Take your emotional temperature over the course of the day.  What emotions are you bringing into your conversations?

o   Take notice of the events that trigger your emotions, how are those emotions serving you, are they keeping you from achieving your goals?

o   When triggered, begin to step back and recenter yourself, take a few deep breaths and then reengage.

o   When experiencing others who are emotionally charged, take time to understand how your words and actions affect them.

o   Deepen your listening and help them shift those emotional states into words, show empathy and curiosity.

If you raise your self-awareness, more effectively regulate your emotions, and seek to understand the emotions of others, you will become more proficient at managing relationships and building networks of raving fans.